There’s a new threat in town – and it’s only a few inches tall. Read “How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack” guide if you don’t believe me. It will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome.
The danger is real. And it’s here.
BUT THIS IS NOT THE WHOLE TRUTH!
After many years of detective work, we established the true identity of these evil gnomes and successfully created a Counterattack Plan.
These smiling lawn statues poised and ready to wreck havoc are in fact CHINESE. Yes, CHINESE. I know you knew it in your heart.
You’re welcome!
These mass produced, standardised, made on an assembly line little evil outdoor statuary hell-bent on world domination gnomes don’t have feelings and are “made in China” without any real LOVE or human touch.
Fear not. There is a way to fight back with these malicious garden dwellers. The only solution is to fill your property with our handmade and filled with LOVE (by Laura, a human being), miniature BRITISH GNOMES.
THIS is indeed the only proven system for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones.
P. S. : If you’re reading this message, chances are you’re in proximity to CHINESE garden gnomes (Seres Gnomus hortus) and have made the most important decision of your life: to educate yourself and take a stand against these suburban subversives. As these gnomes continue to populate the planet at an alarming rate, we are all at risk – some more than others. Some of us will have years to wait before we have to fight a CHINESE garden gnome to the death in single combat. Scarily, some of us have days at most before forces clash. Your first step should be to order our handmade gnomes ASAP so we can help you fight the good fight.We can win this War, TOGETHER! Laura
Order them on Amazon HERE!
The mini gnome size is aprox. 3 to 4 cm in length, aprox. 3 to 4 cm in width, and about aprox. 6 cm in height, weight aprox 40g. Relatively speaking, the mini gnome statues are more suitable for DIY miniature garden decoration, moss micro landscape, fairy garden. Is a great creative gift for friends who love DIY small gardens. The gnome statues are made of air dry clay and painted by hand; Bright in color, smooth surface, durable and waterproof. Our gnome decoration can stand the test of any weather, which is not easy to fade and can bring a natural and long-lasting visual enjoyment. This Halloween, choose from a Vampire, Frankenstein with Pumpkins or a Witch Gnome. They are eager to await trick-or-treaters! Place them in the garden or even in your office to bring that cute spooky-feel!
– FIND MORE COLLECTIBLE MINI GNOMES ON OUR OTHER LISTINGS –
- HIGH QUALITY: Made from durable air dy clay, it is waterproof and heat resistant so you can display it indoor or outdoor.
- COLLECTIBLE FIGURINES / MAKES A GREAT GIFT: Buy for your home garden or as a gift for those gnome or garden lovers
- DIMENSIONS: The Mini gnomes measure approximately 3 to 4 cm in length, 3 to 4 cm in width, and about 6 cm in height, , weight aprox 40g.
- MATCH A VARIETY OF GARDEN DECORATION: The garden gnomes ornaments outdoor can be matched a variety of garden decorations to create an inviting dwelling and ideal setting. It’s also very suitable that parents work it with kids to become more creative and encourage, and offers kids a health environment and a creative experience.
- WIDE APPLICATION:These garden gnomes funny are suitable for most of garden ornaments unusual, indoor and outdoor decorations, even office decor. Not only you can add more color and delight to your outdoor garden ornaments with this garden gnome but also you can also place it on your bookcase, bookshelves and office desk. give you a more vitality environment.
Handmade Miniature Home & Garden Gnomes UK 